Loro Parque and a fond farewell

 

The final instalment of Tenerife 2023

(Although there may be some video posted at a later date, I haven't had time to unpack it.)

I was going to apologise for sharing so many holiday photos but they are really for my own archive and if you want to skip this, no problem. I find it hard to go visit an exotic place with decent light and not take a ton of photos. A better person would be more discriminating and just post the top 20 but it's probably not my worst crime. And I find it hard to throw stuff out. 

Animal Embassy or Animal Prison?

So the fourth trip to Puerto de la Cruz and every time living just along the road from Loro Parque and never yet been. A conscious decision based on a couple of things and it was only when Mary said "but you really like Edinburgh Zoo" I realised I might be being just a wee bit stubborn for insubstantial reasons. Also Colin and Joan had been and given it the thumbs up and I trust their values. 

My 3 main problems with it briefly:

1/ You can't go anywhere on Tenerife without seeing an advert for Loro Parque. I am averse to the mainstream in general (I realise this makes me a rampant snob and am prepared to fight this corner.) And this looked far too much like Disneyworld, and I imagined phone zombies, screaming kids and gift shops crammed full of shite. All those situations were accurate to a degree. 😫

2/ Last time we enquired it was 31 euros. This time it was 42euros. Not cheap. Frequently I scrutinise the value vs cost ratio because I've rarely had money to squander.

3/ Orcas.

not an orca!

Okay the Orcas thing is a bit more serious than me putting my hand in my pocket for 42 euros. There are only 2 places in Europe have captive orcas. If you are interested, google "captive orcas". Nobody says they are a good idea. Except maybe Seaworld. Generally it is a very bad thing if you are an orca, and the history is littered with the corpses of large mammals and Seaworld trainers. Here's how wikipedia frames it...

The practice of keeping orcas in captivity is controversial, due to the separation from their familial pod during capture, and their living conditions and health in captivity.^[4] Additionally, concerns have been raised regarding the safety of animal trainers entering the water to work with captive orcas, which have been responsible for numerous attacks on humans—some fatal. Attacks on humans by wild orcas are rare, and no fatal ones have been reported.

Also: Dorsal fin collapse; inbreeding; still births; poor health and behavioural problems. A trainer in Loro Parque was killed in 2009. He had worked with orcas for 5 years. There was a tendency for such incidents to be described as accidents but when orcas bite and attack trainers holding them on the bottom of 12m pools till they drown it is disingenuous to pass it off as an accident. I reckon they will phase out orcas in captivity and probably have started already as films like Blackfish (2013) draw attention to the practices which are so very not in the interests of the whales. Loro Parque has a huge orca arena (which we didn't visit) and I reckon they'll turn it into something more humanitarian over the next decade or 2. Like a bullring maybe. 

Okay well that doesn't put one in the mood for a trip to see the pretty birdies does it? Let's start again. Loro means parrot in Spanish. No idea about Parque. It kicked off in 1972 on 13,000m² of ground with 150 parrots. It is now 10 times that size and has 4000 parrots representing 350 species. The largest collection of parrots worldwide. It also does loads of other animals as well. 

Okay so we went along just after 10am on Friday 15th Dec. I found the initial 10 minutes excruciating. Not just handing over 2 x 42euros but what immediately followed. Ten yards past the cashdesk we were asked to produce the tickets we had just bought and they were scanned by someone. Perhaps so we (everyone) could be scrutinsed by security? It seemed mindless. We were then asked if we wanted to see a behind the scenes tour. Since we hadn't even seen in front of the scenes yet we declined although it might have been amusing to ask just how much they were charging for a guide. I'm guessing three figures. We were then hussled to one side by an official, who had seen our cameras and made us sign a form that was possibly somewhere between an NDA and a copyright disclaimer giving all rights to all our photos to Loro Parque. If we had been on our game we would have given false names (Oliver Clothesoff) and an email address like fckurmthr@gmail.com but we were trying to keep it light and have fun.

Then - as if we weren't already having a lovely day out - we were shuffled like cattle over to a flowery backdrop poster where they were going to take our photo so we could buy it on the way out for 8 euros. I politely asked if this was obligatory and the woman was onto the next couple before giving an answer. We had not yet seen any exhibits and fully expected a body cavity search and some waterboarding before actually getting into the park. To say it was jaw-droppingly uncouth is an understatement. I should really stay away from these places, they are not for me.

And it gets worse. (Look, the day out in total was fine so stick with this. I have to get through the bad bits so we can enjoy the good bits.) So we are finally into the main park. Where do we go? Well they have maps regularly dotted about the paths but nobody offered me a hand held one or even a hated QR code to pull up a map on my phone. Shall we wander through the penguin enclosure? Why not? Penguins are always good fun. WRONG! The stink of fish overwhelms this indoor enclosure. Is it too hot for penguins to be outside in Tenerife? It feels kind of like the Trueman Show sky, a horribly lit indoor windowless stage set of the north pole, though the lights on the ceiling sky are more obvious and the "snow" drops like clumps of radioactive fallout from a ventilator duct. I'm not sure if we were still traumatised by the shake down at the front gate but this is pretty awful. (Edinburgh Zoo penguin enclosure shines by comparison.) The Spanish animals look okay but a bit valiumed. I'd need valium to live here. I try not to look at a penguin with a de-gloved flipper. If I took photos they did not make it out the camera.

Also puffins. Somewhat flightless crack-puffins are wandering dazed about an interior diorama and to add to the bizarreness a worker in overalls, gloves and facemask comes through to remove the remaining vestiges of natural setting. The puffins, who look like dark-eyed heavy smokers, have all the colour drained out their beaks and are untroubled by the presence of the chainsaw massacre guy. We hurry past the horror show and back outdoors. Was that for real?

No! It must have been just an hallucination brought on by the removal of so much money in one go: a kind of post traumatic cash disorder. Because we now find ourselves in the very fabulous treetops enclosure. After going through a series of about 5 chain-mail curtains (make sure they don't swish back on the camera lens!) to keep the loose birds from escaping, we are inside a giant birdcage. Large enough to allow parrots full-tilt flight as they swoop and soar around us. There is a well built wooden walkway that climbs upward into their canopy of tropical trees. At regular intervals bowls of liquid nectar and fruit have been placed, and the unafraid parrots of every colour will sit eating, inches away from your eager camera. It is very VERY good and frankly the parque should stick to this kind of thing and drop the rest of the Guantanamo Bay items. The birds (mostly Australian and far East I think) seem to be in excellent health and although there is a pecking order, there is enough food going around and everyone seems happy and vibrant and bright-eyed. This is an excellent space and the first thing we did after ascending and descending the high walkway was go round and do it a second time. 

cattle egret

I was too ga-ga to bother with reading the name plaques. I googled-imaged my photos to find their names although some may be wrong. I think at the parque they possibly flagged up all the species and told you about them but I was too kid-in-sweet-shop distracted by the proximity of a hundred and one felt-tip-pen coloured birds. Remember I was going on about rainbow lorikeets (now gone) in Edinburgh Zoo? There were loads here and although one was discouraged from touching them they would sit right next to you and pose for photos. I had trouble on the narrow walkway with the long lens getting far enough away to take photos. It was an absolute riot and we both loved this and quickly forgot all the inhumanity of earlier. I heard myself saying it was already worth the admission price. 

Rainbow Lorikeet

Chattering Lory

Eclectus Parrot 

Purple-bellied Lory

Moluccan Eclectus

The above are a pair of Moluccan Eclectus parrots from the Maluku Islands, (Indonesia) and are interesting for their extreme sexual dimorphism, which is to say the males are very green and the females, red and purple. And as a result look like different species. (At the time these 2 were swapping fruit and kisses and I was like, uh-ohh!)

Galah, fairly common across Australia

Golden Pheasant

cattle egret

New Guinea Crowned Pigeon

There are 4 species of crowned pigeon from New Guinea and they all look very similar. Not sure which this one is, or that it matters. It was like a cross between a pigeon and a peacock and nearer the size of the latter than the former. It could have stayed off the main path through the enclosure, but it stood preening on the throughway almost as if it enjoyed the attention and admiration of everyone passing by. I had to hang back some time to wait until it revealed its head to get a photo of that incredible eye.

another bird from planet bizarro, the masked lapwing

Mary and some rainbow lorikeets

heads in the trough

Eleanora (Sulphur-crested) Cockatoo

Purple-bellied Lory

Red-capped Parrot

Pink cockatoo

Nicobar pigeon

It was difficult to leave the joy of the treetops walk enclosure and indeed we sneaked back in towards the end of our day at the zoo. (Although by then the birds weren't as active or visible and we didn't get the photos or the rush of the first 2 rounds.) However on leaving there, we went through the budgerigar cage. Similarly another very large free-flying enclosure (again with chain-mail curtains to stop the birds following you out!) with a number of brightly coloured inmates all apparently thriving.

Being in the same enclosure as the birds was the best way to get photos as well as just being close to these crazy creatures without a mesh of wire between. There were a number of smaller wire cages in the place but you didn't get either the proximity nor the clarity of photo as you did in these excellent everyone-together enclosures. The birds were fairly indifferent to human company since they had it all the time but the Horned Parakeet, a real charmer, came over to where we were as if to interact and let us take his photo. I really enjoyed the interactions with these birds. Far more heart- and spirit-warming than the cold stand-offishness of (almost all) butterflies and dragonflies. 

Red-rumped Parrot

Horned Parakeet

Budgerigar - just like a packet of Trill!

Elegant Parrot

Flamingo!

The flamingos were all in a grassy field lawn-and-pond without any cage or enclosing wire. It made them a joy to observe and get photos of though there was the voice of reason (or cynicism) in the back of my mind saying they must have had their wings clipped. La-la-la I'm not listening, look at those ridiculous faces like an orange-pink swan having trouble eating a high heeled shoe!

We came across a very ambitious exhibit and although I don't have any photos I was really impressed by them investing so much effort into what can't be much of a draw. It was a bat cave. I have never seen bats exhibited. And for good reason. They won't come out except in the dark. This was an interior space done out like a cave and in very nearly pitch black with just a few very low lights near pieces of fermenting fruit strung on stalagmites and stalactites in this cave-like environment. Sure enough bats flitted by although there was no way you'd get a photo without a flash which was forbidden. You couldn't really get that good a look at them which suggested the occupants were being shown greater courtesy than the audience. (Thumbs up!) We would have stayed longer to see if any landed on the fruit nearby, behind the glass fronted cage but someone's bored kids were being extremely aggravating and drowning out intelligent appreciation. So we left because rolling eyes and tutting isn't much use in the dark.

Meerkat!

Yup, meerkats, good. Not as good as Edinburgh Zoo, but fairly similar set up. Makes you realise how good a job Edinburgh does. Incidentally in Spanish they are Suricata, not meerkats. Which means they won't have been used in any Spanish marketing campaigns. Compare the Suricata. Doesn't really work. Which means the Iberian Culture won't include all that simples stuff and a hundred irritating ad-breaks. Do they know the bullet they dodged? We've had them for over a decade now and not everyone thinks they are the marketing equivalent of an earworm. More here.

Next up the first of 2 aquarium environments. Several of the outdoor enclosures had quite impressive watery additions as part of the set up. Often glass fronted so you could see large fish swimming below (for instance) the alligator slumped on his shore. One had a smallish hippo doggypaddling in view which was a thing of joy. Another a terrapin. They really did aquariums well and so I was keen to wander into the darkened tomb of one labelled Medusas. From the moment I walked into the Stygian gloom I was blown away by the large tubes of alien creatures far too enigmatic to be reduced to the term jellyfish. Medusa said it far more appropriately. These were dreamlike circular section tanks lit with specific colours picking out floating swirling trailing sculptures that slo-mo-ed your brain while ambient sounds added to the general wistful reverie. It was outlandishly otherworldly and for the second time that day worth the entry fee alone. Drop the penguins, puffins and performing animals this is the place to be, this is something you possibly won't see in your life anywhere ever. This is distilled magic and art in a dark gallery of wonder. If only they would ban noisy kids it would be perfect. And maybe pass you a joint as you entered. 

My photos don't really do justice to this exquisite palace of dreams. The thickness of the glass tubes distorts the visuals and there were reflections that were not that apparent while there. It was a glorious, if muted experience that is tricky to illustrate with just stills. I was surprised by a couple of things. Most medusa I have seen outside go jelly up, streamers down. Most here were the opposite. Not sure why but I wondered if the flow of water was from below, upwards.

There was probably writing, descriptions, instructions, informations but I was too agog to look at text and just wandered open-mouthed mesmerised. And it got better as you proceeded. The medusa were in large cylindrical tanks in the centre of the floor. On the walls were giant room sized tanks with fish from other planets. Okay some were from earth, old friends I knew the name of but didn't expect to meet outside of books. But some were definitely off-planet. The ones with fleshy fingers pointing from foreheads (Unicorn fish) were laugh-out-loud funny. 

It was tricky being among all this wondrous stuff and staying sober enough to work a new camera in the dimmed lights of the underground palace. Which is to say I feel I could have done better in the photograph department had I not been intoxicated by the show. But hey, it's not easy having your cake and saying how good it really is with your mouth full. It was better than I could have hoped, and then a little bit better again. Stepping back out the building into the bright light again was like waking up and realising I was on holiday. I felt I was beamed back to earth from a different planet. Highly recommended!

unhappy angel?

see through fish

golden lion tamarin

The layout of the place is quite organic. It seems to have been made out of malleable rock that has agreed to form walls and boundary events where bricks and slabs are traditionally used. It felt absolutely rocklike to the touch not cheap foam painted to simulate rock. And formed organic and seamless enclosure walls that leave your eyes free to enjoy the inhabitants. Lots of greenery and plants and trees make it look like an embassy not a prison although there is no getting away from the fact that the animals are not there by choice and might not hang about if the walls came down. Lots of the parrots (and there are LOTS of parrots) were making lots of noise and I wondered if they were shouting at us "get me the fuck out of here!"

not a highlight surely

Three enclosures I would not want to see again: gorillas, lions, tigers. None looked entertained or happy. They all looked at best bored, at worst bored and angry.

iguana with bird poop on
(probably happens in real life too though!)

scarlet ibis

alligator

huge cylindrical tank of neon tetra

We were just about to leave. We already felt that overkill you get at Tate Modern where your brain and eyes have seen too many things in a row and are needing a break to process it all. We were making our way towards where there might be an exit. It is a relatively small place compared to Edinburgh Zoo and you go round it like a maze, without ever knowing where you are. I was surprised to see on our gps output we had covered the whole place comprehensively except for the mini roller coaster at one end. Also we strayed into the sealion arena because there was a deafeneing disco vibe going on. But seeing it was sealions and there was a deafening disco vibe we left after 15 seconds when an employee asked us to take a seat rather than lurk near the doorway. Didn't see the dolphins or the orcas. I haven't looked into captive dolphins but I can't imagine it's a prettier story than captive orcas. 

Anyway we were looking for an exit when we saw another aquarium building. We weren't sure if it was the same one with the medusa but upon inspection it was another one. No jellies but a lot of fish. "Wall mounted tanks" does not cover the scale. More like a partially glass basement had been made under the ocean and we wandered into it. Well staged lighting (in most cases the absolute minimum only allowing slow shutter speed photos) and tanks full of wonders. I saw no floaters, not a single dead minnow. Maybe they are eaten by other occupants immediately but it gave the impression of a mastery of the environment and the needs of the occupants I haven't seen on this scale anywhere. Top marks to all involved.

these were mysterious, wonderful and very silvery

ever get the feeling you've been put in the wrong tank?

Then seahorses! Holy shit just when you think they can't top that last wonder you come across a small tank of seahorses, one of the weirdest things underwater. They were small and not brightly lit and I had to jostle through a scrum of mobile phone photographers and my battery warning light was flashing red. I was trying to keep half an eye on Mary and if she was ahead or behind and whether the darkened shape beside me I was talking away to was defo her. All the signals suggested it was time to go. I had another camera battery but my own endurance batteries were also flashing red and it was time to call it a day. 

So, we poured ourselves out of the place scoffing at the wall of 8euro photos of hostaged tourists as we went. It was quite some place and since all the bad stuff was in the first half hour and after that there was such amazing stuff the overall impression was yes! Great! I approve! Hurray! Many marvelous animals in a pretty decent jail being looked after by people who seem to care for them. 

Okay I'd personally like to see quite a few of the larger ones given parole and all the performing ones allowed retiral. I have no idea if cetaceans can be set free successfully but we owe them the respect to find out and pack in the idea we can keep them in pools so much smaller than their oceans. There was a gift shop full of cuddly orcas and shit but there was also an unhurried cafe where you could get a very substantial bocadillo tortilla de patatas (basically a potato omelette in a toasted baguette) that was 5euros well spent. So a whole mix of the very worst aspects of a fun park, to the very highest quality of wildlife interaction. A fantastic place to test drive a new camera and also to boggle your mind. 

Best to go on a sunny day, although plenty good stuff indoors (aquariums and bats!!) if it is overcast. Would I go again? Yes but maybe not every visit. I found rubbing up against the general public testing. The whole point of this institution is to generate money, irrespective of what they might say about conservation. It reeks of the sort of heavy handed commercialisation that I associate with Disneyland and Seaworld and other places more interested in finance than animal welfare. It is impossible to close your eyes to those aspects and just enjoy the "good bits." Like being a vegan who consumes a bit of meat and dairy now and again because cheese is fantastic and has not been replaced by a vegan substitute that comes close. Actually I am describing myself. I am that compromised vegan. I blame the chorizo and cheese for being too delicious.

scarlet darter

Whew, good to get back to the hotel and go for a last couple of days walks round about town. We saved the last day for our favourite walk West along Rambla de Castro. Second last day we went east after another track session and quick nature trek round the track perimeter. The track session was an end of tour 5k personal parkrun and I managed to do it about or just under 19minutes. 

I had done 3 x 1mile in training. 6.19, 6.19, 6.13. I doubted they could be put together for a sub 19, 5k, but got up early and set out before the sun did its worst. First mile was around 6.12 giving me a margin to wobble and slow. There was much wobbling but not too much slowing and it was in the high 1850s I crossed the line. I can't really see my watch when tears of sweat and pain are skooshing down my face so I actually recorded 3.09 miles in 18.54 but I'm fairly sure I could have run another 17 yards in less than 6 seconds. Anyway it got me running like a bastard which was the overall purpose so let's not quibble yards and seconds and just call it about 19 and a success. I was pleased with the 5% improvement over the fortnight.

Eurydema ornata. Ornate shieldbug family

That said both of us arrived home a little plump. Could've been much worse if we hadn't been working out and walking tons. However we were drinking beer and wine most nights. And some afternoons too! A good combination of boot camp and holiday splurge. 

damaged African migrant egglaying 

love the colourful background blur of this monarch pic

another landed emperor
We had to wait while it flew around this tree for ages!

delighted! what a find!

lapwing wine

hotelarchitecture

another reluctant kestrel

while I was chasing the kestrel this 
Berthelot's pipit came and sat by Mary

canary in appropriately sized cage

Last day photos heading West.

if only everyone could be as tasteful with xmas decorations

This was miles away so not best photos but interesting: kestrel sitting on a sculpture eagle's head. I think this tells us birds are not taken in much by shapes of things alone, but understand them by animation or texture or vibe. Anyway I was amused by a kestrel defying an eagle sculpture and using its head as a perch. Maybe it knew exactly what it was doing.

Canarian speckled wood!

At last, at the very last minute we came across a small gang of SWs along the coast. They looked pretty fresh bordering on brand new. They weren't there a few days previously but really, who knows. They had been thin on the ground all holiday although I reckoned I saw one or two but not for absolute sure and no photos till today. Great to see these here. All the joys of the UK ones but warmer orangey tint. Hurray!

aloe aloe

Second BIG treat of the last day was this Barbary Partridge. (Which we refer to as Barbara Partridges.) Very jolly birds with mohawk caps. Again no photos till today then this one, which was pretty quick off the mark. (Mary didn't get a photo before it flew off.) I saw it as I'd been scanning every possible perching point for kestrels.

great to see so many kestrels though I felt
I didn't really nail THE kestrel photo this time: maybe next time?!

many of the wild poultry near the sports track 
as seen here previously were not in evidence

close as you get mate, I'm off!

Finally, some photos from the TZ100 that might have missed the correct timeline insert. Above: a bit like a speckled cricket. First time I've seen one here. Great to be catching new species after 4 visits. Below: Mary at the gym. This is new addition to the hotel since last time. We thought Yeah! and then never went there for the rest of the holiday. 

night time from our balcony

PB at the track

at the track

Coming back was easier than going. Our plane was at 2pm so we got a full night's sleep. (Up at 4am on the way out which makes 11hrs travel a bit harsh.) Also we followed my recommendations from last trip. "When they drop you off at the airport hours before your flight the most comfortable seats (the only comfortable seats) are in the airport bar. Order a large beer each and make them last."

photo Mary

Getting through security with all your electrics laid out in trays is always stressful and maybe there was that built up. I got us a couple of large Stellas and a bottle of water (for the plane) at the bar and tried to ignore it costing 18.5 euros. Flimsy 1 litre plastic cups too, the robbing fucks. Mary said afterwards it was possibly the best beer ever. It was like it was loaded with laughing gas. A few sips into it and everything was riotously funny. Half a pint and tears were running down faces hardly able to speak the brilliant witticisms falling from our mouths. I can't remember the last time we'd laughed so much, so long.

I'm guessing I'm saying "I can't find my passport and boarding pass"
photo Mary

It was like the beer had unlocked all the stress of the day and wow we were fabulously funny. We just got to the end of the beers moments later and thought we should probably check what stance the plane left. To be announced at 1.15. It was 1.18 or so, and it said LAST CALL on flight blah-de-blah to Edinburgh. Oops, we giggled and briskly jog-walked to the stance which took another two minutes by which time it was empty of other passengers and we were the very last 2 onto the plane! Instead of feeling like we were holding up the plane, the beer told us this was perfect timing and we strode onto the plane and took our seats like rock stars. Moments later they finished boarding and after about 30mins of taxi-ing we were off. Perfect! Fade scene and run titles.

Mary pic: mansplaining!

us in the hotelevator
That's the new camera btw (much heavier than it looks!)

me in safari mode above the track
photo Mary.