7 Hills 7 Beers 2019

photo Mark H

The 7 Hills of Edinburgh is a major local Summer event, and much loved; running round the city via 7 summits. It's bastard offspring is the 7 Hills 7 Beers which has been run 3 times since some Carnethy beer enthusiasts thought it might be a good idea to run the route but insert a pint before each summit. Turns out it's not (for obvious reasons,) and after 2015 (blogged here) the idea was shelved and never mentioned again. Whew!

Then Pascal, a Dutch runner who comes over every Summer to run the 7 Hills, had a notion to reinstate it. Emails were sent. Jim, and those in the know, shuddered. But were eventually cajoled into another round of 7H7B and the date was set for 16/11/19. Pascal and pals travelled from their flatlands, some folk came over from Glasgow and a few thirsty locals met in the Kilderkin. I had been full of manflu last time I ran this so felt there was unfinished business. Although I had done a fair bit of beer training in September in Spain, I had let the running slip into seasonal disrepair and wasn't looking forward to a beasting from Nick who was much more practised in both disciplines. It is done in teams of 2 for safety. So the other can phone for an ambulance.

On the day, I felt I had enough to contend with, without carrying a camera. So here are some pics taken the week before on a recce with Nick, Graham and Gregor. We only had a couple of beers and spent the time checking out how quick service might be in certain establishments and the like. There are a few rules. You are not allowed to return to the same pub twice. Which makes the Braids and Blackford Hills tricky as there isn't many options round there. Luckily the Golf Club was open on the day and they had forgotten about any bad behaviour that may or may not have happened 4 years ago. Probably their biggest sales all year as virtually all the teams (nearly 30 runners in total?) passed quickly through their small clubhouse.

On race day the teams of 2 (and 3) were set off at intervals, to avoid overcrowding and a fight to get served in the first 2 pubs. Nick and I scurried up the High St and into the Ensign Ewart, Nick already well ahead and the pints nearly poured before I got to the bar gasping. I didn't even have time to ask what the hell an Ensign Ewart was, and whether the first letters had fallen off Pretendsign Stewart. I threw back the pint and left the pub running down the steps to Johnstone Terrace, hitting the one mile mark just over 9mins. Which seems okay for an uphill mile with a pint of beer. But I seem to remember last time we did it in under 9. Next mile sub6. I was relieved to get across Lothian Rd without incident. Down to Roseburn and into the Roseburn Bar. Another quick scoof and I ran out the door feeling bloated with beer. Was that Jeff and his team in there? I hadn't remembered how unpleasant the first 2 pints are. The alcohol hasn't yet got into the system and you are carrying 2 pints of fluid on top of a breakfast. (Which was large in order to soak up the damage.) Luckily there is quite a hike from there to the next pub. Although the climb up Corstorphine Hill was not welcome.

I'm pretty sure we went to the Corn Exchange at Chesser. Although I have no real memory of it. There are a couple of nasty road crossings around here particularly that one (pic below) under the bridge. In 2015 Nick, on a high from the beer getting into his bloodstream, just walked out into the moving traffic holding his hands up. I suspect we maybe got luckier with the traffic this year. Again only the thinnest of memories. 

Climbing the muddy leaf litter hill at Craiglockhart is always about momentum and belief. As soon as you lose either and rock back on your heels you are done for. 

At least every summit is followed by a descent and I enjoyed the drop from Craiglockhart down into the Braid valley and on to the Braids Hotel. We didn't actually do the Fly Walk short cut as testing it on the recce proved no quicker than running the flat along Greenbank Dr then turning right up the road to the hotel. No distinct memories of the hotel other than there might have been other runners there. Or not? All a blur! I think the exit and up the road to the Braids seemed to go well, or maybe I was just past caring. After the trig point, down to the Thistle Golf Club and 3 cans of Belhaven into 2 pint glasses, much to the amusement of the locals. Then Nick led the way round the small path exiting just ahead of the Lang Linn path.

bumped into Ollie during the recce
he is looking SO well these days, a year on from his chemo.

Towards the bottom of the path we veered left and took the zig-zag descent to the burn, keeping our feet dry; then over the bridge, and scrambled up the dirt and leaves. I may have lost momentum and been reduced to digging in fingers to try and hold position on the steep slippy slope. Trying not to think of the dreaded sleepers up to the shoulder before the summit. 

Summit done we took the usual route down to the road and archway though turned right as the allotments would be locked. Was it Swanys we ducked into for a pint? I was not looking forward to climbing Arthur's Seat 6 pints drunk. Though was drunk enough to take the shortest line through Pollock Halls which means a bold climb over the welded turnstile. Nick took the left side while I remembered foot-placings on the right, done last June. Nick shouted back over his shoulder to use the spikes as holds to lower yourself down from, not realising I was on the other side yards away from said spikes. But thanks for the tip! I hit the ground and did a roll almost intentionally. Brushed the leaves off and chased Nick up the grass to the last awful climb. Hands on knees breathing heavily we eventually got to the top. I was a bit concerned about the route off the top and can't really remember which one we did. Looking at my gps output, we seem to have chosen safety over direct line. I think it was quite efficient and happily didn't involve injury. I had fallen on the rock summit during the recce and landed so heavily I thought I had broken my arm. It was a warning not to be complacent.

Taken by Jeff
(at the Roseburn Bar?)

glug glug glug!
no messing about (or enjoyment)

Matt, Mary and Sean, team of 3
I'm guessing on their 5th pint and that one of them (Sean?) took the photo!

Alan Lawson, CEO of the 7 Hills
lends his approval to proceedings

My legs were a bit trashed from all those hills and all that tarmac but there was not the usual onset of cramp coming off the Seat, just before the Parliament building. Almost certainly due to rehydration along the way. Still a final pint to sink before Calton Hill, so back into the Kilderkin, where we saw the fastest pair, Alex and Sasha close behind us. We took the optimal route out the pub and up Calton Hill, back to where it started at the trig point. Even though I was 7 pints tipsy I was bit unhappy to have missed the previous record of 2.22, coming in at 2.25. Not sure how that happened, or where we should have gone quicker? I had felt that it was possible, and, being the slower member of the team, that the onus was on me. Hmm. Must train harder if this is ever held again. The good news was we were 7 or 8mins quicker than last time. So going in the right direction.

We made our way back to the Kilderkin as it was too bleak to stand around cheering others over the line. Back in 2015 flushed with success, some foolish folk had stayed around and continued drinking, consuming even more beer on top of the magnificent 7. I had run home with my flu bugs, which proved far wiser, and missed the hangover some enjoyed. This year my plan was similar and would have worked very well had it not been for Mark H insisting on buying me a cider. I refused point blank 5 or 6 times but he wouldn't hear of it. I don't know why I didn't just put it down and walk away. Probably because I was drunk. Anyway I'm pretty sure it was the undoing of my following day when I had, not so much a hangover, as several times through the day a VERY BAD FEELING. I felt a wave of nausea wash through me, like I was going to faint or puke or shit. Or all 3. It would last about 30 seconds and it felt very alarming like maybe I was going to pass out and throw a fit on the floor. You know when you take too deep a snort of Amyl Nitrate and you lift off out your body and pass right through the ceiling of the brothel, well that.

fighting or dancing?

I doubt there was any sense being made in the pub. Lots of people 7 drinks drunk shouting about mud and hills and drink and whatever. It would have been easy to get caught up in it all, but after just that one pint I set my auto pilot to return-home-immediately and made my escape. I suspect I may even have run portions of the way home. Or floated; legs waggling feebly below. My gps was off so I will never know. Jim had made excellent coasters in recognition of the usual 7 Hills format. Sasha and Alex, both elite runners, had set a new record, (and only 11 mins ahead of Nick and I.) 

Pascal. His fault!
Visit his blog of the event here.

How any of the Dutch crews got round, and did so well, is anyone's guess. I wouldn't fancy running round a strange town, properly pissed up, with the traffic on the wrong side of the road, not knowing where to go. Amazing they all survived. (Amazing anyone did.)

Afterwards I think I described it as better and worse than I remembered. It is a consideration and perhaps I needed more preparation! Quite a tough combination of an arduous run with a beer-at-gunpoint hazard. I hope it will be 4 years before I have to do it again. 

14.96miles in 2hrs25

longer than usual 7 Hills route due to pubs

Carnethy reports here
Jim's report and results here
Pascal's blog here