Saturday, 21 September 2013

whisky for breakfast

When is the right time to drink a miniature whisky? Too much to glug back without an occasion, too little to have a party with. I came upon the answer this week. We have a clutch of them in the cupboard from races - 7 Hills vs Edinburgh Marathon, Nevis, Moray Marathon team prize etc. Gathering dust. 

Behind you Horatio, behind you!

A couple of months ago I developed a problem tooth. A molar towards the back. Visited the Leith Dental Practice and they took an X-ray. Couple of days later and they sat me in the chair, put the bib on and the light that illuminates one's teeth. Then held the X-ray in front of me. You can see the problem? I couldn't make out if this was a photo of a cutlery drawer, a typewriter or a parking lot, never mind the best and most apt treatment. "We" decided upon extraction and I was shown back into the reception area to make an appointment for a few days hence, wondering what role the bib had performed just there. And why a phone call wouldn't have covered the same ground.

Amanda performs a back flip.

Between the diagnosis and the extraction I started using Sensodyne Repair and Protect toothpaste and without wanting to sound like an advert, the pain in my tooth disappeared. With classic short term thinking I cancelled the extraction. Why not put off what you can always attend to later. About a week ago, possibly due to the colder weather I noticed that whenever I ate or drank really hot or cold stuff I was reminded of my impending doom. Trouble was I started a big job on Monday and there isn't really time to pencil in a trip to visit Ruby. A bit of self medication would tide me over until I could take a day off. Only, when I lie down to sleep there is swoosh of fluids that moves from somewhere below, up into the vacuous spaces in the largely empty head area, putting pressure on the jaw and surrounding battlefields. Normally this happens after I am asleep and manifests itself as snoring, and really only bothers me when Mary wakes me up to let me know. However, the TOOTH which has remained so quiet all day (so quiet I have forgotten again to make an appointment with Ruby) now starts to sing. It's not a pretty song and can build to quite a crescendo with stamping and punching. It took a night (and one mostly without sleep) to recognise that when I stood and walked to the painkillers, the singing subsided. I tried sleeping sitting upright on the couch. And also in bed. Mary says it's like waking up next to an apparition or a seance. It's not like I was wearing a shirt and tie though. 

After a couple of bad nights Mary cleverly suggested a sinus decongestant. This worked pretty well although I combined it with painkillers and a whisky gargle. The whisky is a great quick acting anaesthetic and I have been rinsing with it 3 times a night or more, as I am trying to avoid OD-ing on decongestant. One winter with a heavily blocked nose I had a couple of squirts of sinus spray every night. I got rebound congestion (something like the nasal equivalent of feedback) and started using the unblocker like an addict. It ended up the only vein I could find was in....  oh hang on, that was the heroine. Anyway I found a good use for the cupboard of miniatures, and have been working through them this week. After a certain point - from about 4am - I stop swallowing and start spitting. I am not keen to go into work smelling like an alky. Yes thanks I know oil of cloves is popular with runners ever since Marathon Man, and no, I don't like the taste. I am not that keen on whisky either but it gives me a 5 minute window through which to leap into dreamland.

I have an appointment on Tuesday with Ruby. I am hoping it will involve more than just looking at a small photo of a parking lot, or an abacus.
Today's run is documented on Mary's blog here, but the pictures probably say all that needs said. Must get off to sleep before the decongestants stop their magic. Thanks to AGH for charming company and Alison for delicious soup afterwards.

This in last Monday's Press and Journal, with Henderson headlining and Mo having to settle for no photo and some column inches below the important stuff.


  1. Hilarious, always enjoy your blog, but this had me laughing out loud. So, some good has come of your suffering...