the 7 Hells

 

For the first race (in a new Porty vest!) in forever I'd been training really hard.

If only. Truth was more like it snuck up and my only concession had been to get the trophy (1st v50) I'd had for 2 years, (due to covid) engraved, and that was a last minute dash. I'd meant to do loads of hill training but alas a job in Ormiston required a 1 hr cycle there and 1 hr back every day, either side of a demanding physical job, and I hoped that that would fill in for hill training. And that would have been a great plan if I'd done the race on a bike.

Mary had an even better plan. Just not go! This turned out to be a much better idea and she enjoyed the day much more than myself. She came out to watch the finish but otherwise filled her day, not with struggle and sweat, but having a nice time. Indeed if the break from racing due to covid has taught us anything it is how unnecessary the whole racing thing is. I mean it's fun when you're young and keen as mustard but as you age and times slip and the whole thing is an unpleasant torture, why bother? This thought crossed my mind several times during the race. And yet. Why do anything difficult? Why get off the couch? Why not just sit in front of Netflix shovelling junk food down your cakehole and getting diabetes and costing the NHS a fortune before falling into an early fat grave like 60% of the country? Somewhere between those 2 extremes lies a happy medium.

I also felt an obligation to do the 7 Hills Race which I've done so many times I could cover a wall with the finish line coasters. I used to love it! I'm pretty sure this year was my slowest ever but haven't had the heart to check that out as it wouldn't cheer me up in the slightest. Alan Lawson the organiser said there were loads of no-shows. He said people were cancelling due to self-isolating. I have a feeling it was self-preservation. Why thrash yourself round this arduous course for a PW? Insult piled on injury. I was still hoping on the start line, all that cycling (and 5 miles run per week taper over 3 weeks) would see me through unscathed. Nope. Here comes the 7 Hells!

Nicola also reckoned on a personal worst.
Good to have a few pals in the same boat!

As a concession to covid and distancing there were 2 starts for each event. The challengers were set off in 2 groups 30 secs apart (or was it a minute?) based on race numbers arbitrarily selected by alphabetical sign up. I presume someone was monitoring numbers at the end and subtracting the difference. Also one group was sent along Princes St then up the mound, rather than the route everyone takes normally, up North Bridge then right at the High St.

Mary had looked at the Mound option recently and although the distance is similar the drop on Waverley Bridge gives you a harsher gradient up the Mound to the Castle. So is a small disadvantage.

My number meant the latter of the 2 Race starts. And going up the Mound. Because my race was already shagged by lack of training, I thought I'd try the other route for fun. It did occur to cheat and go the normal way and certain folk I spoke to did exactly that. Nobody was monitoring the process. However something that was far worse than the Mound diversion was the log jam before we even got off Calton Hill. The time between starts meant as we got to the steps down to Waterloo Place they were absolutely jammed with the back runners from the earlier start. People who prefer to walk down the steps were totally blocking the single lane the marshals were guiding them down. Because the marshals were looking the other way I dodged down the right hand lane (empty) and steps, running past 60 slow runners that otherwise would have added at least a minute to my already sluggish progress. 

I went down and along Princes St praying that those going up the North Bridge would cause a similar log jam and hold up the race. The adrenaline and annoyance of being forced to go the wrong way boosted me up the Mound and I spent the first half hour chasing folk who had benefitted from the C19 variants. I'd love to blame this on my race being shit but it was more about my general fitness and it didn't make a substantial difference really. But who needs kicked when you are already on the ground? 

photo Michael Philps

photo Michael Philps

photo Michael Philps

As you can see by Craiglockhart I was dying a death. As we came off Corstorphine, Nicola had said something about not being sure of the way and I boldly said follow me. I got the best line to start with then seeing folk just ahead, inadvertently followed them instead of taking the nice trail down and round to the opening just above Kaimes Rd. They led us over a not insubstantial drop down a wall and although it was not a terrible route it was not where I had planned and had the potential to twist an ankle and ruin a race. Just goes to show what an influence the folk ahead can have - even on someone who has done the course so many times I could almost do it blindfold. (Maybe not the road crossings!)

"thanks" to Barry and Karen for this photo
barely walking speed off Blackford Hill

Well things continued to nosedive. I think I got lucky with most of the road crossings and didn't have to throw myself in front of passing traffic. However I did begin to suffer after an hour. (The obvious downside of only cycling hard for a hour - an hour is all I could manage.) The rest was just a suffer-fest and best not dwelling on that. I was just counting off the hills and miles to the finish, wondering just how bad the time would get. (2hrs10mins - 15 mins slower than last 2 times.)

Angus showboating!
photo Mary

Mary kept quiet as I passed her at the Paliament Buildings, so I didn't even get to pretend to look decent. I was suffering from the cramps I usually get about then and trying to hold it together by speedwalking. I had been passed by Roly and Ollie on the climb up Arthur's Seat. Weirdly Ollie always does this, it is something of a tradition. Little did I know that due to bad nav off the summit Roly was now behind me again - I assumed he had already finished as I snailed my way up to Calton Hill. 

a sorry state
This and next photos all taken by Mary, thanks!

non-competitor enjoys post race buffet!
(I was too exhausted to eat anything)

PB and Ollie
Much love, even though he beats me on Arthur's Seat every time.

Gavster: a fine figure of a man!

It's a great event and big thanks to Alan Lawson for getting it all organised. He wouldn't have chosen the C19 rules and probably did so under duress from higher powers and surely the event will revert to normal next year. If I do some training I may be back. I'm really not sure how I feel about racing any more, having had some distance placed between me and it through covid. One thing I do know: racing without proper training is a VERY bad idea and makes for a great deal of pain. And I prefer being fit to fat. If covid has taught us anything it is the dangers of getting flabby. The young and the fit have been relatively safe from the worst it had to offer (although not absolutely safe.) So the likely future might be slightly more training than went on in the last year, but slightly fewer races than before covid.