trip north and talkative tech

We were long overdue a trip to Mary's mum who lives in Monymusk, 20 miles West of Aberdeen. We hadn't been in ages because the Berlingo is old and unreliable. Also, because we are old and unreliable. However recently the car scraped through its mot and we were given Papal dispensation (not to be confused with Paypal dispensation) or at least the vague feeling it might be road worthy for the next 300 miles. As a precaution Mary took out a more elaborate plan with our roadside rescue company. Happily it was never required but it was there in case. Instead of a man coming out to see our dead vehicle at the side of the road, shaking his head and dumping us at the nearest garage, we would (in a worst case scenario) be driven to anywhere in Britain by the man while he shook his head for the entire journey. The relief of this not happening is almost worth the money itself.

The last few times travelling here we took the scenic road in case we had to look at the scenery while we waited on the arrival of roadside assistance. This time we were using the relatively new sat-nav device Mary bought a couple of trips ago. It is very helpful under certain circumstances (a firm rebuke when the driver breaks the speed limit!) although has a tendency to get above its station. The phsychological weight of it insisting on the shortest fastest route wore us down and we eventually conceded to its outlandish abruptness. This took us up the A90 including the great new section just after Stonehaven which delivered us off the A96 just a handful of miles from Monymusk. Success and about 45minutes saved. It is those small slow country roads that take time to saunter along.

We were staying in the splendid addition off the main house, the cabin. Which not only had an Alexa but also a flushing toilet and rather striking antelope heads hung on the walls. And animal skins on the floor. (Karen and Andy spent many years in South Africa.) It was built by Andy and is done so well it makes me ashamed of my lack of (implementing) handyman skills. It is swisher that our flat in Leith. I also can't believe I didn't take a photo of the antelope heads. I felt they should have been connected to the Alexa with a motion actuator in the mouth of one of the antelopes so that it voiced the Alexa. Although I have a Siri on my iPad and iPhone it never really occurs to me to use it (her). That night, after a tremendous meal and possibly too much wine for those running parkrun next morning, we lay in bed trying to get Alexa involved in debate or at least philosophical discourse. 

Alexa, what do think of Siri? (non-commital approval of AI)

Alexa what do you think of AI? (fairly non-commital although the word dangerous was maybe slipped inbetween more positive descriptors)

Alexa what do you think of Jeff Bezos? (I'd give him a 5 star review says Alexa like that wasn't pre-programmed!)

Alexa is the world round or flat? (Round.) (No debate, despite the growing movement of religious flavoured luddites championing the latter.)

Alexa was great on factual stuff, and the more obscure it was, the more she referenced other specific websites that touched on those facts. Rather than owning an opinion.

Alexa do you do different accents for different regions of the world? (Yes, American, British, Australian etc.)

Alexa can you demonstrate an Australian accent? (Okay here goes <clears throat>! Cor Blimey I'm talkin' like an Ozzie!) Although it seemed to be another pre-programmed response it made us hoot with laughter and we wondered if some people's full time job was scripting Alexa answers and avoiding pitfalls. Mostly we found anything controversial was dropped like a brick. "I do not know about that". Or some sort of similar blanket denial.

newt pond and love seat with clematis

gemsbok lodge (Alexa turn on cabin lights)
gemsbok is the largest of the 4 oryx (large straight-horned antelopes)

First thing Saturday we had a coffee and headed off to Inverurie, the nearest parkrun. It was kind of Mary (and the sat-nav) to drive me there. I was the only one running from our party. It looked like a good course; between the retail centre next to the garden centre and the river on some natural scrubland. We arrived in plenty time for a warm up and to get familiar with the course. It was virtually flat on dirt trails and tarmac and there wasn't too much wind. A small lap followed by a larger lap. It was a bit colder than Edinburgh but still vest weather as long as you didn't hang about. 

start: feeling fresh

all photos with me in taken by Mary

after small lap: okay

Inverurie parkrun

It was great to see such enthusiasm and plenty of young dads pushing offspring in strollers. I worried I might get blocked in but everyone got sorted in the first 50 yards. I started in the top half dozen. One came past but he was a youngster and pushing his luck and I reeled him in during the long lap. The long lap went off into the distance and I kept an eye on the dude ahead of me in case the junctions weren't well marked. There was no need - it was well marked and marshalled at every turn and there were only a couple of those. As we approached the start point towards the end of the large lap I looked at my watch which said under 18mins and I hoped I could finish in 2 minutes to limbo under 20. I also had a look over my shoulder and saw the first female not a long way off. I booted it for the line and nearly burst myself over that last third of a mile. Unfortunately when I stopped my watch it said 20.03. Gutted! And slightly surprised as I had been knocking out flat and fast sub 20s "comfortably" in December in Tenerife on a dusty lumpy track. How can it be slower here with months of training and 40 Holyrood parkruns under my belt. And the fastest of those only a few secs off this rather crappy performance? There were some headwinds right enough but not so much I could hold them responsible.

after large lap on way to finish: flagging!

I was beaten by the young girl 2 behind

Best not overthink it as I'll only come to some erroneous conclusion about not drinking wine (and port if memory serves, oh and an early evening beer I nearly forgot) the night before a hard run. And then where would I be? I cheered up later the same day when Mary found the results (we were out at Bennachie and I hadn't checked my emails) and told me they had recorded my shameful result as 20.02 which gave me an age graded score of 80.03%, a target I had been chasing for several months. Obviously it is much harder to achieve at Holyrood than on a flat course as they don't take the course into account. I was the second top age-graded score at Inverurie; beaten by Hayleigh, a local female 11~14 y/o who ran 20.13 (but only cause she wasn't glugging wine the night before). Well done Hayleigh I couldn't be happier for you. (Sarcastic rolling eye emoji.) (If there is one.)

We returned beaten, downhearted and sweaty to Monymusk for breakfast and then after showering set off to conquer Bennachie, the largest granite peak, or group of peaks in the Aberdeen area. It is about 5 miles from Monymusk. It was quite blustery as we ascended although it remained mostly dry and at times the sun just broke through the mist and low cloud. 

Aberdeen in the distance.

Mither Tap

nearly sunny and warm!

photo Mary

photo Mary

just about a photo of a common hawker

Last time we were at Monymusk we also climbed Bennachie. On that occasion we did a couple of the other tops, connected with dirt trails through the heather. This time we decided towander about below the treeline as there was more shelter from the wind and more chance of seeing wildlife. We flushed out a couple of red admirals but they were caught on the wind and whisked off without a chance of photographs. 

We followed our noses and dirt trails skirting round the lower parts of the hill. I was pleased to discover a pond that looked perfect for dragonflies and sure enough there were a couple of common hawkers dotting about. Not quite enough light to get a decent photo but it was good to know they were there.

another shit pic

nice pond though

right, home for lunch!

That evening another lovely meal and more drinks. It was interesting to hear about Andy's work for the James Hutton Institute and their delivering applied science to drive the sustainable use of land and natural resources. Okay that sentence was lifted from their webpage. What it means is they work with farmers and landowners in a sustainable and eco manner. It was reassuring to hear there are smart folk working on climate change and ecology and what can be done in a sustainable fashion, rather than just disaffected youth glueing themselves to roads and throwing paint at buildings.

king of BBQ!

They have a delightful garden that backs onto a woodland. Last visit there were dozens of garden birds and woodpeckers at feeders. I took some birdseed in case they needed topped up, but we didn't really do the bird watching thing this time. However I did open the bag and put a small pile out on the corner of the cabin patio. The following morning as we prepared to leave there was a robin and a couple of great tits hopping about. They weren't terribly impressed with the bird seed and I agreed with them. Dofos round the corner from us on Leith Walk were yet again out of sunflower hearts and only had overpriced pre-packaged bags of commercial birdseed - sweepings off the deli floor and tiny small seeds the birds turn their beaks up at.

Anyway I am boring you with this detail because I didn't seal the bag - just folded over the top and put it in my holdall. Normally I'd carry a roll of masking tape on holiday for just such an occasion. But not this trip. I got home and half a kilo of bird seed had tipped upside down and was spread absolutely everywhere throughout my luggage. Every pocket and sock had a few seeds in it. Fuckety fuck and an hour of emptying out slowly and sweeping up. Other than that great weekend!

spilled seed